Well, I don't mean to depress anyone with this post. I know everybody mostly comes here for all the fun and happiness ... but I just wanted to describe what I think is a life-changing event for me. Maybe writing it out will make me understand it all better.
My wife of 18 years and I are calling it quits. I've just had more than I can handle. It was my decision... although she mentioned it first. I don't know if she thought I would take her seriously or not. So maybe I surprised her when I agreed.
It's impossible to describe everything that led to this. Basically, I don't think we've ever really loved each other. We hardly even *like* each other. We've just kinda existed together these 18 years. She has her religion and her friends... while I have my work and my computer. She told me today that all I wanted from her was sex. I admit... maybe she was right on that count.
I've always hated the fact that she thinks sex is bad. We never discuss anything sexual. We don't even have names for our sexual parts. Sex is called "you know" and my cock and her pussy is called "down there". Since early on in our marriage, our sex life has been about as basic as you can get... and still be called sex. I've also hated always having to hide things from her (like masturbation, coming to this site, etc). But I must hide them because she would never accept those things.
It's funny too, because over the past week, I've been trying to be more affectionate with her. Calling her honey and sweetie and kissing her on the neck. Apparently, that wasn't having the desired effect lol.
The final straw for me were a couple of events from yesterday and today... nothing really way out of the ordinary... but a camel's back can only hold so much. Yesterday afternoon, my 12-year-old son had put some wet clothes into the dryer. The problem was, the dryer already had some clothes in it that were halfway dry. When my wife found out, she started yelling at him... "Why would you ever do something like that?" and "Are you just stupid?" And she wouldn't stop... it kept going on and on. He was in tears.
I cannot stand it when she calls one of our sons stupid. He's only 12 and really didn't think about it being wrong. I usually don't stick my nose into these things because she'll then turn her anger on me... but this time I just had to. I quietly but firmly told her to stop yelling at him. She stormed off and said that she was going to go crazy... that she couldn't take this anymore.
Last night when she went to bed, she looked at me with contempt. (Not for the dryer incident... but for some unknown-to-me reason.) This morning while I was still in bed, she was up and preparing to leave on some outing. She kept smirking at me and making comments about me getting up late all the time.
These types of things happen all the time, but for some reason, I've just had enough of it. I started wondering why I was living in a relationship like this. And I couldn't come up with a good reason for it to continue. Later today, I started softening up and thinking that things were OK. But when she came home, she started talking about all the bad things in her life. When I kept staring at the wall, she asked what I was thinking. I told her that I didn't like the fact that she was always so hateful to me and our boys. Well, that did it. She said that maybe we shouldn't be together anymore. And at that point... I immediately and permanently returned to my thoughts of leaving. I agreed with her.
Anyway, that's where it stands now. If anyone has an empty room in their house, PM me lol. And if I come back next week and say that we're back together and everything's OK, please... I don't want to hear any "I told you so's".
ilikeitalot
The Masturbation page
Leave a comment